(in this timeline, at least)
To boldly go where no alpaca has gone before β through time, space, alternate dimensions, and occasionally the break room. Quantum Alpaca Industries exists at the intersection of cutting-edge technology, ancient mysticism, and really good hay.
(Subject to retroactive continuity. Past performance does not guarantee future reality.)
Three alpacas and a quantum physicist walk into a bar. Quantum Alpaca Industries is born in a garage that technically doesn't exist yet.
Successfully sent an alpaca to Tuesday. Retrieval took 4 days due to the alpaca's refusal to leave a very nice pasture.
Purchased the lost city in a hostile takeover. Renamed it "Alpaca-lantis." Tourism revenue up 40,000%.
First company to achieve full ISO-9001 certification for interdimensional transit. Zero lost luggage.
Strategic merger with Sagittarius A*. Result: increased storage capacity and unlimited bandwidth.
Granted sovereignty by the United Nations after threatening to send Tuesday to Friday.
After a brief period without them, QAI reintroduced Tuesdays to the Gregorian calendar. You're welcome.
Won "Best Website" in 1492. The judges were confused but impressed.
We embrace entropy. If it's not slightly unstable, it's not innovative.
Every decision is run through our proprietary Alpaca Wisdom Algorithmβ’.
We only alter the past when absolutely necessary or when it's really funny.
We don't discriminate based on which plane of existence you inhabit.
Chief Executive Alpaca
15 years experience in hay management. Voted "Most Likely to Disrupt Spacetime" by his herd.
Chief Science Wizard
Holds 47 PhDs, 3 of which are from the future. Currently exists in 12 timelines simultaneously.
Director of Sentient Operations
An AI from 2477 possessing a 1998 GeoCities designer. Designed this website. Sorry.
VP of Ghost Infrastructure
Runs our cloud hosting for ghosts. Excellent uptime. Literally never sleeps.