🚨 ALPACA DEPLOYMENT STANDBY 🚨

EMERGENCY ALPACAS

When you need an alpaca RIGHT NOW.

Deployment Options

⚡

Tactical Alpaca

Arrives in 15 minutes via wormhole. Combat-ready. Spits on command.

🚁

Alpaca Airlift

Helicopter extraction for alpacas in hostile timelines. No alpaca left behind.

🌊

Alpaca Flood

Deploy 10,000 alpacas to overwhelm any situation. Great for parties and invasions.

🥷

Stealth Alpaca

Invisible. Silent. Fluffy. The perfect undercover asset.

Emergency Protocols

CODE RED

Reality Breach

Seal the rift. Deploy Class-5 Alpacas with anti-void fleece.

CODE ORANGE

Temporal Cascade

Multiple timelines collapsing. Alpaca herders en route.

CODE YELLOW

Tuesday Missing

Schedule disruption detected. Emergency Tuesday Alpacas activated.

CODE MAUVE

Existential Dread

Emotional support alpaca dispatched. Hug protocol initiated.

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